10 najlepších slashdot hlášok

9.12.2008 13:29 | Přečteno: 1974× | poslední úprava: 9.12.2008 13:30

Dnes sa tu v blogu preberal Slashdot a systém jeho moderovanej diskusie, tento môj príspevok k téme som tu mal niekoľko mesiacov ale nejak som si nenašiel čas na jeho zverejnenie. Slashdot je nekonečná studnica super hlášok. Tu je niekoľko z nich ktoré ma v poslednej dobe zaujali. Znalosť angličtiny podmienkou. Hlášok nie je presne 10 ale fakt som sa snažil vyberať tie lepšie.

Najprv o slashdote

• This is ./. That means that TFA is an empty placeholder or, at best, pointing to a vapid bit of text between ads. (MrMr, 23706699)


• Slashdotted already. Don't you people have better things to do? (ScrewMaster, #23991635)


• Wait... both of you RTFA? We have a new /. record! (colonslashslash, 24033039)

Počítačové

• If Miguel De Icaza hates it, I LIKE IT! (anonym, #24466165)


• ... And the blackberry 7520 (which I said they could have when they pried it from my cold, dead fingers) (blhack, #23984401)


• Other OSes are designed to be used, while Windows is designed to be sold. (Dracos, #23994853)


• Its amazing that over 300k people downloaded firefox from russia, despite the fact that in soviet russia, firefox downloads you. /groan (hbean, #24043383)


• Seems right to me. I get that we, as computer geeks, are supposed to love the idea of having 3D virtual worlds, alternate/virtual reality, etc. But can someone please explain to me what benefits these things actually have? Whenever any of these are announced, it always seems like either (a) there's nothing to do; or (b) they allow you to do anything, but it's pretty complex to do anything interesting, and the world ends up filled with penises. (nine-times, 24115869)


• CAPTCHAs are only able to protect things worth $.0025, no matter how good they are. Simply because at about that price, you can pay humans to solve them for you. (nweaver, #24203385)


• Think of it: In theory, people install anti-virus software to avoid viruses that pop ad windows on their computers. But by default, when you buy a new computer you automatically subject yourself to pop-up advertising for the anti-virus software. A lot of people will get themselves roped into a service contract just to make the pop-ups go away! Irony, no? (PCM2, #24799907)


• Do we have enough porn for an entirely new Internet? (oahazmatt, #24416681)


• Face it, anything consumer related is shit on Linux if it originated elsewhere (thetoadwarrior, #24637017)


• People need to quit wasting cash developing crappy ideas, and spend some time generating GOOD ideas to develop (mhazen, #25059365)

Ostatné

• No, 70 degrees is about four-fifths of a right angle. I just hope someone doesn't come around and rotate my trees, because they might die! (ConceptJunkie, 23864681)


• Tonight's forecast...........dark, continued mostly dark throughout the evening with widely scattered light in the morning. Temperature at the airport is 73......which is stupid 'cause I don't know anyone that lives at the airport... (richg74 cituje Georga Carlina, 23902159)


• I would have claimed 1st, but someone appears to be cloaked. (nullCRC spravil prvý post k článku "Scientists Closer To Invisibility Cloak", #24554943)


• Kirk: I'll need 4 people on the away team. Me, Spock, Bones and Ensign Ricky.
  Redshirt in the corner: Oh crap! (thatskinnyguy, #24552001)


• Well, I'm a state employee, and I can tell you that a few 7 hour days in a row would outright kill me. (Tibor the Hun, #24925305)


• The book doesn't only promote stupidity, it demands it. (#správa, nie komentár)

Bonus

A na záver jeden bonus. Dostal síce hodnotenie -1 Troll, ale je to literárna perla (a len pre silné žalúdky).

• A few years ago, while browsing around the library downtown, I had to take a piss. As I entered the john, a big beautiful all-American football hero type, about twenty five, came out of one of the booths. I stood at the urinal looking at him out of the corner of my eye as he washed his hands. He didn't once look at me. He was "straight" and married -- and in any case I was sure I wouldn't have a chance with him.
  
  As soon as he left, I darted into the booth he'd vacated, hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still warm from his sturdy young ass. I found not only the smell but the shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat, stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd -- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist. I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass and not an end in itself.
  
  Of course I'd had jerkoff fantasies of devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't?), but I had never done it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of the world's handsomest young stud.
  
  Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both hands to keep it from breaking.
  
  I lifted it to my nose. It smelled like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit without the benefit of a digestive tract? I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does. I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock, beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily, sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down with his piss. I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with the rich bitterness of shit. Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished them out, rolled them into my hankercheif, and stashed them in my briefcase.
  
  In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole -- not an unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom.
  
  I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using them but within a week they were all gone.
  
  The last one I held in my mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six orgasms in the process. I often think of that lovely young guy dropping solid gold out of his sweet, pink asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could, and at least once did,bring to a grateful shiteater.(anonymous, 23257322)

       

Anketa

Komentáře

[rADOn]

Koukam ze /. je zralej na rozmlaceni (bashing)

Ale bez nechutnyho dovetku bych se obesel.

[Dalibor Smolík]

Lidi,  to máte upozornit  předem, že se bonus nemá číst u oběda

[xxxs]

ja znesiem takmer vsetko, ale zaver ma trosku rozhodil.

[zde]

Bonus je úžasnej a vytříbeně nechutnej, zbytek nic moc.

[Robert Krátký]

Pochybovačně jsem se pustil do čtení bonusu, i když jsem myslel, že mě nemůže překvapit. Omyl...

[rastos]

Na Slashdote sa dajú nájsť užitočné informácie najrozličnejšieho charakteru:

Že američania stále majú problémy s jednotkami

Ako prist k peniazom

Načo je polícia

Ako funguje protiraketová obrana

Aký je skutočný problém s RiserFS

Prečo nepísať na /. z práce (pozrite si aj reakcie)

Ako merať stres v CLI

a rôzne iné. A ešte pridám pár hlášok ku ktorej už nemám linku:

Let me get this stright: You obviously researched the topic on the Inernet and you saw lots of contradicting information. So you decided to ask slashdot ??

You clearly dont understand how "ask slashdot" works. Someone asks a question, and then we all make fun of that person.

Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper? A: They need a map....

Nečudo, že sú ľudia, ktorí si z toho urobil business.

[rane]

This hurt my brains...

*me regrets the day he learned to read.

[Ladicek]

Dočetl jsem ten bonus asi do poloviny. Nevěřím, že je tu někdo otrlejší

Jinak Do we have enough porn for an entirely new Internet? je nádherně výstižné

[trekker.dk]

Dočetl jsem ten bonus asi do poloviny. Nevěřím, že je tu někdo otrlejší

Já to dočetl skoro do konce, pak mě to přestalo bavit, tak jsem přeskočil úplně na konec, jestli tam není nějaká pointa. Není.

[Dalibor Smolík]

Já jsem to dočetl do tří čtvrtin, pak jsem to rozeslal známým zdatnějším angličtinářům do mailu . Až jsem dočetl zbytek, tak jsem u některých lidí litoval jejich jemnocit

[Robo]

Ja som to docital a je to brutal humus :))

[stativ]

Měl jsem hlad. Teď už nemám...